(no subject)

Hey! Are any of you CTY ladies going to the Bryn Mawr Fall Preview Days on Oct. 2nd and 3rd? I am. I just thought it might be cool to see some fellow forevermores. :)
  • Current Music
    somebody to love - queen
fuck it up

(no subject)

hey, common question i'm sure
anyone have a canon cd they can upload, or otherwise extract and insert in email, and send to me? I have a few scattered songs, but not the whole thing,
Carlisle or Lancaster canon would be best.
Plus I would love you until the end of time.

My email is (nothing with viruses, pretty please)

xposted like crazy.
fuck it up

in the forevermore spirit...

I woke up this morning, 3 weeks post cty, and got an all to familar pang. It was a pang exactly like the one I got on Friday July 15th. A universal cty heart wrench. A last day pain.

Imaging all my double session and second session friends going through the same nevermore pain makes my heart hurt all over again. Last night was the last dance, and yes, I was more than a little tempted to put on American Pie for the sake of solidarity.

I realize now why I woke up this morning at 530 and couldn't really get back to sleep. My heart was at passionfruit.

I'm extending all my cty love to people coming home today, especially nevermores and nomores. I know this probably won't help right now, but I've never cried at something that didn't at one time make me happy. And nothing has made me feel as happy, contented, accepted, understood, loved, and joyful than cty.

keri (carlisle:1:05, lanc:1:04, stmarys:2:03)

p.s. (on a more personal note) I'm remembering all too well that cty reality and real reality will never match up. I'm realizing that I'll never be held in the same cty way by the same cty boy, even if I see him again. That I'll never spend a cty day 24/7 with my cty best friend. I'm remembering why I always specify cty love when necessary. And I realize I am the SO lucky to have experienced it. And any pain is born out of compelte and utter joy. Just remember that.

(no subject)

CTY is the only true home I've ever had. And I can never go back.

That frigid bitch known as Time has finally grabbed me where it hurts: the part of my soul occupied by CTY. Time, that hag, that bitch that stops for no one and has finally seen fit to make me 16 and push me into CTY so that I'm forced to go to my nomore session and subsequently come home from it.

my passionfruit toast:

"To being one of two people on your hall to get up for passionfruit. To being a horde. To Alyssa, my wonderful wife. To really angry kids and having them in your class. To pants and lack thereof. To messing with gender roles. To Ed, my not-so-wonderful gypsy wife. To being in denial. To "eep." To Zak and Dibrom. To Melanie, Harriet, Molly, and Marianna, all the roommates I've ever had. To being a forevermore. To coming out on the other side of things. To bisexuality. To monogamy -- almost. To Alene, because she says some really hilarious things. To Alyssa, because she walways knows exactly what I need to hear and never hesitates to say it to me. To Paul, because he's mean and kindof dumb but I love him anyway. To rumors that spread faster than light. To everything CTY has given me over the years. To the most important thing CTY ever gave me: myself. I love CTY and I love the passionfruit."

I'm not really home. I'll never be home again.

((heh, x-posted like whoa, except that's not on the other ones.))
California by yesthisislove

(no subject)

So I made a community for CLI.. Half because I loved it and it was amazing, and half because I'm bored out of my mind at work.

It issss _cli.

It's a bit of a work in progress, and any input is much appreciated.

Cross-posted in every C-- community I know of.. Sorry.

cty-free for the first time

sigh.  so i just realized that it's about that time -- the end of session one must have just happened, and for the first time years i'm not teary-eyes and suffering cty withdrawal this weekend.  well, at least i wasn't, up until i was sent spiraling back into memories of the past 6 summers.

awkward icebreakers and endless name games... awful roommates, awesome roommates, asian roommates, and everything in between - i had 'em all... first loves... catfights (over boys, of course)... grabbing that special someone to dance to "stairway to heaven" and knowing that you had eight minutes to hold them close... convincing your TA that you could study more efficiently outside, lying on top of each other, without your books... feigning interest in game theory, or diseases, or that boring reading assignment... mandatory fun... sneaking drinks to make those dances just a little bit more fun... "cty goggles" aka "wow i can't believe i ever like him.  what was i thinking?"... sneaking around to illegal sleepovers... grabbing someone - anyone - so that you wouldn't be alone during the slow dances... swapping stories late into the night... hall meetings that always went long because of that certain person that had to comment at absolutely everything... illegal late-night phone calls... the anticipation of the first dance... making the first move... stargazing in the dewy grass... hanging out in the bookstore, or the hallway, or the thrift store down the street - hey, it was something to do... signing up for friendship bracelet-making or a scavenger hunt just because your best friend or your crush is doing it...  hot RAs and TAs... hauling yourself out of bed early saturday morning to hike to the farmer's market... making the best of truly awful cafeteria food... secretly holding hands under the desk... heated debates, over abortion or who's boyfriend was dorkier or boxers vs. briefs... watching (and participating in) truly heinous talent show acts... ahh the drama... cross-dressing on second saturday, and discovering which boys make really eerily convincing girls... feuds between halls/floors/girls - what were we fighting about?... making the most of meet market/quad time... trying to run away from the RAs... losing your lanyard in a tree (dammit, i knew i should've listened when they yelled at me not to swing my lanyard)... finally having the guts to take of your pants and swing 'em over your head... the inevitable "end of the world" accidents... really stupid inside jokes that will nevertheless stay with me and make me giggle always... embarrassing yourself endlessly - "aww, what the hell, it's only 3 weeks and i'll never see these people again"...field trips, field studies, and finding any excuse to break out of "the bubble"... the simple pleasure of turkey hill... hall bondage... pacts to be "friends 4eva" that sadly fade within 3 months but will always be there when you need them... mistakes and regrets that were fun all the same... embracing your nerdiness... the chills i still get whenever i hear "nightswimming" and "in your eyes" and "forever young" and "stairway" and "american pie"...

i guess i felt the need to mark this occaison somehow, though this isn't really a story at all - but i feel like all my cty stories have sort of faded and meshed and just become a single vague good feeling, if that makes any sense at all.  to be honest, i can tell you hardly anything about all those classroom hours and those classes my parents signed me up for, but i could go on forever about inside jokes and crushes and friendships - the people are what make the experience.  those were...let me count...18 weeks that have truly made me who i am, just a little bit.

  • Current Music
    jack's messenger - kill the messenger

from the dark side, i guess

you'll have to forgive me; its 2:30 in the morning and i am very tired. i just wanted to say that tonight, watching my 7th cty talent show, while i can repeat and firmly believe that there is life after cty (and there really is, i've seen it and it is good), that 'other' life is certainly not the same life in which a kid on a trumpet can play 10 solid minutes of video game jingles and get applause, and where a single guy can play indian drums and violin and lay down a mean indian rap, and where 3 girls can put together a song so emotional and true that it makes me cry. yes, i officially left cty 4 years ago. but obviously i never quite got over it, since i'm back now and i'll keep coming back as long as they'll let me, and i'm glad i haven't let myself lose something that was such an essential part of my life for so long. i dont like to romanticize and dramaticize things unnecessarily, but theres something to be said for hearing 'american pie' in a college cafeteria a total of 20 times over the past 8 years, and knowing that it will still give me chills when it plays for the 21st. i'm sure people think i'm crazy when i say that i really do love this place, and what it stands for, especially as things are changing and the nature of the institution has shifted dramatically from what it used to be. sometimes i feel like i lived in the 'good old days,' when i could cross a street by myself and watch my RAs dress up in drag and *gasp* even order chinese whenever i wanted. but at the same time, the evolution of the program is just that: change in the interest of self-preservation. becoming a more legitimate program has allowed cty to attract more people and gain the trust of more parents, so that we can invite more kids to have the same crazy experience we've all been having for years. i dont like it either, but i know its necessary, and while i'm disapointed that so many of my favorite kids are (at the moment) choosing not to return next year, i know that when they go home and see the alternative, they'll want to come back. i did. i really dont think they trust me when i say that when i was here, i felt just what they're feeling, and to a certain extent, i still do. i dont think they believe me when i say long-distance cty relationships can work pretty damn well, and that canon really is sacred to us old folks (we do all still know the words to 'end of the world,' dont we?), and that jon good really did exist and his name has no 'h'. i know that because i knew him, and everytime they (we) yell his name during american pie, i shake my head. he got his legend by loving people; how perfect. i dont think my kids know how seriously i take them, and how much i respect their opinions and their ideas and their friendships and relationships, and my friendship with them. i dont think they believe me when i tell them that i'm still best friends with people i havent seen in years, and that i expect to be best friends with them years from now. i dont think these kids notice me when i cry during stairway, and i'm glad they dont, because its not about me anymore, its about them. but i hope when they're almost 20 that they remember how vividly cty struck them, and how much it changed them. i hope it has changed them. how could it not?


PLEASE reply to this if you:
(1) know a teenage boy named Misha who used to go to cty and liked cartoons
(2) know a better way to find him than this
(3) have a copy of or a link to the NY times article that recently (about a year ago) mentioned "nerd camp"
documentation, writing, quill

Argh. Shirts.

Has anyone got clear pictures of the 1994 and 1995 t-shirt logos? I have a small icon project in mind. Nothing really fancy, but I can't seem to find the images anywhere, especially not by themselves, and I don't have my shirts or an operational scanner to hand...
  • Current Music
    Del Amitri - It Might as Well Be You (but it was American Pie a few minutes ago)