grandiloquence (spiffychicky) wrote in nerdcamp,

in the forevermore spirit...

I woke up this morning, 3 weeks post cty, and got an all to familar pang. It was a pang exactly like the one I got on Friday July 15th. A universal cty heart wrench. A last day pain.

Imaging all my double session and second session friends going through the same nevermore pain makes my heart hurt all over again. Last night was the last dance, and yes, I was more than a little tempted to put on American Pie for the sake of solidarity.

I realize now why I woke up this morning at 530 and couldn't really get back to sleep. My heart was at passionfruit.

I'm extending all my cty love to people coming home today, especially nevermores and nomores. I know this probably won't help right now, but I've never cried at something that didn't at one time make me happy. And nothing has made me feel as happy, contented, accepted, understood, loved, and joyful than cty.

keri (carlisle:1:05, lanc:1:04, stmarys:2:03)

p.s. (on a more personal note) I'm remembering all too well that cty reality and real reality will never match up. I'm realizing that I'll never be held in the same cty way by the same cty boy, even if I see him again. That I'll never spend a cty day 24/7 with my cty best friend. I'm remembering why I always specify cty love when necessary. And I realize I am the SO lucky to have experienced it. And any pain is born out of compelte and utter joy. Just remember that.
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